Key & Peele – Auction Block
Key & Peele – Auction Block


– ALL RIGHT,
Y’ALL GATHER ROUND.
GATHER ROUND.
WELCOME, GENTLEMEN. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL AND BLESSED DAY
FOR AN AUCTION. ALL RIGHT, Y’ALL,
GET ON UP THERE. – PUT THAT WHIP DOWN
AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS, THOUGH. – STRAIGHT UP. I DON’T CARE WHAT PLANTATION
I END UP ON. I’M STRAIGHT STAGING A REVOLT
IN THIS MOTHER[bleep]. – HELLS YEAH. – WE HAVE LOT A,
LOT B, AND LOT C. – UH, $3 ON LOT A.
– $4. – 5! – $5 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD. LOT A GOES TO THE MAN
IN THE BLACK HAT. – I MEAN, GOOD.
– YEAH. – [chuckles] I’M GLAD
I DIDN’T GET SOLD, ‘CAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE OWNED
BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. – WHOEVER BUYS ME, THEY BETTER
KILL ME THE FIRST DAY, OR I’MA GO BUCK-WILD
ON THE WHOLE OPERATION. – OKAAY? – NEXT ONE,
GET UP ON UP THERE, NOW. – OH, THIS–OKAY. both: [inhale] – $6 ON LOT A. – $7!
– EIGHT. – 9! – $9 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD! both: [exhale] – OKAY, WELL,
YOU HAVE TO BUY THAT DUDE. – IT’S A NO-BRAINER.
– I MEAN, THAT GUY’S HUGE. – A MASSIVE INDIVIDUAL. – THAT’S TWO OF ME.
– ANYBODY WOULD BUY HIM. – I’D BUY THAT DUDE. – MY QUESTION IS
HOW’D THEY CATCH HIM? – NEXT! – OKAY. OH, YEAH.
– YEAH. – $2 ON LOT A. – $2 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD. – SEE, NOW,
THAT SURPRISES ME. – THAT IS INTERESTING,
TO SAY THE LEAST. – I MEAN, WELL, IT JUST SEEMS
LIKE AT A CERTAIN POINT, IT’S LIKE, DO THEY EVEN KNOW
WHAT THEY’RE LOOKING FOR? – IT’S LIKE
THE WHOLE CRITERIA SEEMS JUST A LITTLE
INCONSISTENT. – I MEAN, AT SOME POINT,
I WANT TO BE ON LOT A. – YEAH, WHICH–
CAN A BROTHA GET ON LOT A? – NEXT. – OH, HERE WE GO.
– HERE WE GO. – BEEN A PLEASURE.
– GIVE ‘EM HELL. – ALL RIGHT.
– OKAY. – $8 ON LOT A. – GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD! – HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?
– NOPE, NOT TRUE. – HOW DOES IT HAPPEN? – WHAT YOU JUST SAID–
THAT’S GOBBLEDYGOOK. OKAY? THAT CAN’T BE TRUE.
‘CAUSE WHAT CAN THIS DUDE DO? LOOK AT HIM.
WHAT COULD HE PICK? A COTTON PLANT
IS, LIKE, THIS TALL. – YES.
– I’M SAY– NO OFFENSE, BROTHA,
I’M JUST SAYING. – OFFENSE TAKEN.
– WHA–[gasps] AM I WRONG? IS HE NOT SHORT?
HE’S SHORT. BUT YOU ARE ACTUALLY SHORT
IN REAL LIFE, IN THE WORLD. – YOU’RE GOOD, MAN.
– ENOUGH. I WILL NOT HAVE
MY REPUTATION TAINTED, SELLIN’ SUPERFICIAL,
BIGOTED SLAVES. – SUPERFICIAL? DID THAT REALLY
JUST COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH? – THAT’S IT!
THIS AUCTION’S OVER! – AUCTION’S OVER?
– WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. NO, IT’S–IT AIN’T OVER.
IT’S NOT OVER! I’M STRONG, Y’ALL! I’M VERY STR–
I CAN SLEEP IN A BUCKET. – I’M FAST, I GOT STAMINA,
AND I KNOW MAGIC. – MY WORST QUALITY
IS THAT I’M A PERFECTIONIST. – LET ME MEN–
HAVE I MENTIONED THIS? DOCILE. I AM AGREEABLE
TO A FAULT. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE DUDE
WHO ASKED ME TO GET ON THE BOAT WHEN WE CAME OVER HERE. – NOT A VIOLENT BONE
IN MY BODY. – I JUST WALKED RIGHT ON,
NO BIG DEAL. NEVER SEEN A BOAT
IN MY LIFE.

100 thoughts on “Key & Peele – Auction Block”

  1. Comedy Central says:

    Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. hellolamby says:

    The difference in their nipples is so funny.

  3. Noah The Texan says:

    "Superficial bigoted slaves"

    Lol I'm dead

  4. Kj Ridge says:

    I don't think it's right to laugh at this one ……………. I ain't finna joke round bout my black history.

  5. Blessings Joy says:

    This is supposed to be commedy but wakes up resentment towards white people.

  6. phoenix cat says:

    Classic.. lol

  7. Kim Rob says:

    Wow black Americans making fan of their slavery, that's why they will remain as slaves in that country

  8. the guy says:

    πŸ€£πŸ˜…πŸ˜πŸ‘πŸ€›

  9. Bang Supa says:

    is that racist that they not chosen?

  10. Shmaryahu ! says:

    He said I can sleep in a bucket lol 🀣🀣 🀣

  11. Mortarion says:

    This is a documentary about university sports drafts

  12. Vycka Mikalauskas says:

    Never seen boat in my life hahahaha 🀣

  13. Kako Onikumo Ekun says:

    I will not have my reputation tainted selling superficial bigoted slavesπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  14. Mikey B says:

    and people give Quentin Tarantino shit because they think his movies are ractist

  15. Ostavaakos says:

    Comment section is basically just a poll for the most popular quote from the video.

  16. Yahshua says:

    They really used to action off black people, that’s crazy

  17. Tiney coner Willians says:

    Hugh dude gone kill master πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

  18. Feather-Spirit Tarot says:

    They are so brilliant…hope they work together again in the near future.

  19. Candice Walker says:

    This shouldn’t be as funny as it is

  20. Cyril Bruce-Cathline says:

    I don’t find this funny. This was a very inhumane activity in the dark history of humanity. A sensitive topic indeed.

  21. Snow Rider says:

    These guys make me look black

  22. Eugene Poncelet says:

    This video blows. Like in 1848 the people had nice teeth and wore sweat pants. I know it is supposed to be comedy but this is trash. No wonder no one wanted to buy them. These two aren't hireable by my standards.

  23. Bagas Andita Setiawan says:

    let's be honest, they are not that black

  24. jrodt9 says:

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  25. carlos torres says:

    This is offensive

  26. Free_Thy_Mind says:

    This is soo funny. I'm sure it was just as amusing for the Africans a few of generations ago.

  27. Lyricflower Gaming says:

    Ah a modern democratic the most racist party from 1828 to 2019

  28. Freddy Ruga says:

    πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€

  29. Trust Me Ø'Paz says:

    I want a slave :/

  30. Welfor Ramon says:

    Epic Rap Battles of History.

  31. Jamal Ghazi says:

    Idk how to feel about this

  32. TropicalSS says:

    At 2:46 i think i know who that dude is pewdiepie right ? Correct me if iam wrong

  33. ZImpresive says:

    My Dating Life in a nutshell.

  34. Alpha & Omega Racing Pigeons says:

    in real life they would have been killed just for talking too much

  35. Daniel O says:

    This is basically the job market. You may be less, as, or more qualified than another but that person with a network will get more likely get in.

  36. dark sonata says:

    Niga

  37. Samson Mak says:

    This can straight up turn into a full scale comedy movie about two slaves planning a revolt in that motherfucker

  38. rudder727 says:

    check out the comments section… so many offended SJW's. It is comedy… deal with it. No wonder modern comics are lame… you all would have shit your pants listening to comedy from 20 years ago.

  39. mikail90 says:

    Where are the social justice warriors?

  40. KeepitRazzy says:

    still instigating this.

  41. I, Always says:

    This should be mandatorily studied in Psy, Soc, Eco, and PolSci classes.πŸ’―

  42. Mickey D says:

    dang they just got to america and already know gobbledygoop

  43. danyellwar77 says:

    I dont even like to joke about being sold into slavery diffinately not begging to be sold. Fun for the first couple of lot A's. Not the ending

  44. Ali T n says:

    Those slave were racist!!

  45. Savanah Honoret says:

    i dont see any of this funny when it comes to slavery especially when they are getting sold its not to joke about

  46. Blue Green says:

    Im a jw and this was good as hell yall good Thank you

  47. Lauren Phung says:

    I'm queer

  48. Dmitri Clegg says:

    How did they catch himπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  49. william sewell says:

    This was my most sure click ever.

  50. banzii is trash says:

    My question is why was this filmed and produced? Like not a single slave owner is alive to day and there really isn't any point to make this "comedy" other to instagate racism that wasn't there to begin with.

  51. EPSTER says:

    When pewdiepie says – "GET IN THE BOAT!"

    2:50

  52. Hate Speaker Sargon Of akkad says:

    A slave would have cost you about 4500$.

  53. Josip Ricov says:

    Maybe lot B and C aren’t black enough since south can’t seem to bargain for them.

  54. The321flyer says:

    that's how it actually works…. πŸ˜‰

  55. InformationIsTheEdge says:

    How can this be so wrong on so many levels and still be so hilarious?

  56. Cedar Poplar says:

    "I am docile and agreeable"… That ain't right

  57. Milo Moody says:

    I know accuracy was not the point of this sketch, but slaves actually sold for 500-900 dollars. Just learned that recently, so thought I'd mention it.

  58. Rick Toles says:

    Boy howdy, I tell you if anyone else put this on television, mmm selling black folks for the price of good hamburger! Only liberals and leftist and SNL would air spit like this. And gets thumbs up! If Republicans or right people put this out, all you people be yelling racist and play race card . But since you all think it's funny selling negros why not start doing it again.
    Come around here you'll be able to catch three or four working in the garden.πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™‚οΈ.

  59. Bernie Sal says:

    This isn’t even funny. Key and Peele are more white than Bob Sagat. This skit is lame!

  60. Dc Liverachee says:

    I’m sorry πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  61. gty fd says:

    It is like a job interview.

  62. A - 867 says:

    I AM AGREEABLE! O.O

  63. Lynne B. says:

    I didnt laugh once.

  64. King Tutt says:

    Actually the average cost for a Slave was $800 which is why only wealthy white man owned slaves not every white person on the slave the vast majority of them were overseers like they are today

  65. Zandile Khumalo says:

    Watching this after aries spear interview

  66. Open Answers says:

    You half breeds love making fun of us.. Fuck you bastards. You really are the definition

  67. V M says:

    How were mixed people treated during slavery?

  68. Ezekiel the Web Evangelist says:

    Brothers and Sisters, as our brother Paul wrote to Philemon:
    "Yet for Love's sake I prefer to appeal to you– I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus– I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the Gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. For perhaps this is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother–especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in The LORD." (Philemon 9-16)

    Brothers, look not to be angry with your each other, for you are all subject to The LORD and you should therefore live as such. Brotherhood is a bond like that of a rope, for the string is weak and lonely, and seemingly useless to be used for any reason. Where as the rope is strong and held together by the strings which find their bonds in brotherhood; that is, of faith in Our LORD and Savior, Jesus Christ, from whom salvation is bestowed upon us all, and we should treat each other as the ones saved by God through The Son, Jesus Christ.

    -Ezekiel

  69. Michael Philpott says:

    How do that happen? How do that happen?

  70. TheBlackGenius ENGINEER says:

    Educational

  71. Kovar Parker says:

    Dang time went by fast

  72. Harold Destin says:

    "I will not have my reputation tainted selling superficial, bigoted slaves".
    Freaking HILARIOUS!!!

  73. Muse lycan Niaro says:

    Lol

  74. Trygve 001 says:

    β€œI’m Fast”
    β€œIve got stamina”

    β€œAnd I know magic” best line

  75. alldayeveryday notwednesday says:

    The posing at 1:04 is hilarious!

  76. Giuliana Herrera says:

    See now that surprises me πŸ˜‚

  77. Greg Martin says:

    so wrong, and yet so funny

  78. bones007 says:

    How it feels like being mixed

  79. Muzaffar Krylov says:

    HAAAAAA!!!! Friggin HILARIOUS!

  80. AMV god says:

    Sub to me please

  81. Callum Reed says:

    This is not funny

  82. Rahim Shah says:

    Funny, but sadly it was real in the past

  83. The R-One says:

    "I can sleep in a bucket"

  84. liley dumzela says:

    "Am i wrong ? Is he not short? He's short? But you are actually short in real life in the world". Gets me every time lol

  85. More Less says:

    1:18 β€œmy question is how did they catch him?” LMAO I died

  86. Orlando Impas says:

    NeVer SeEn A BoAt iN my LifE

  87. jay patil says:

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ love this nigas.

  88. mizy says:

    Is this a movie

  89. Phil Long says:

    The should've showed the African Kings negotiating the sale of their own countrymen.

  90. Travis Jett says:

    This is racist and stupid

  91. Rathi SSJ says:

    Now that’s interesting

  92. Gregory Glass says:

    They got sent back

  93. ringdigger says:

    They would never laugh at this in hypocritical UK. (You see, the UK had nothing to do with slavery right (Scottish slave owners were rife in The West Indies), and also, everyone would be sooooo offended)

  94. KhoPhi says:

    "See, now that surprises me!"
    Surprised me too, brethren! hahahaha

  95. Suman Kumar says:

    "I will not have my Reputation tainted, selling superficial bigoted slave."

  96. John Klem says:

    Half blacks cry the loudest, Cory Booker style.

  97. Carey Bass says:

    i live in savannah thats awkward

  98. Mocha Walters says:

    The ending about the boat tho πŸ˜„

  99. isaiah robain says:

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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